Interdependence: Why Community Matters and how to build it
If you’ve ever felt the tension between longing for closeness with others and the fear of being seen as dependent, you’re not alone. Our dominant culture promotes the harmful narrative of ableism, which not only hurts disabled people but also hurts everyone by keeping us isolated and overburdened.
The “Always, Forever, & Never” Maze: How Anxious Attachment Undermines Security & Turns Love into a Test of Endurance
In this blog post I am offering you a very useful tool that I developed to aid myself and my clients in tracking reflexive reactions and transforming them-in real time-by redirecting yourself away from Always, Forever, and Never. Read below to learn more about our superpowers as anxious attachers and how to rewire your critical approach. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is real and attainable. I have learned how to enjoy the fruits of my relational labor and ease into that coveted sense of security. And you can too.
The Wounds of Co-Parenting Criticism — and healing balm of Respect, Restraint, and Repair.
When love between adults changes form, the task of co-parenting can test even the most well-intentioned. In moments of frustration or exhaustion, it can feel tempting to voice anger or disappointment about the other parent—especially when pain still lingers from a recent exchange, whether it’s this week or this morning. Yet when criticism of a co-parent happens in front of a child, it leaves marks deeper than either adult intends or even sees for some time.
The Sting of Criticism — and the Cure for Connection Loss.
Why words that judge can wound deeply, but couples can rebuild trust through empathy and repair. Criticism is different from expressing a complaint because, by definition, it attacks a partner’s character or personality rather than focusing on a specific behavior or issue. When criticism becomes prevalent in communication, partners stop feeling heard and start feeling attacked.
The Orienting and Resourcing Technique for Political Exhaustion: How I Find Calm Amidst Calamity Using Somatics
Most of us feel the competing impulses to both look at AND look away from news headlines and either choice leaves many of us with a sense of dread churned up by political stress. Some of us can quite literally feel the weight of dis-ease in our bodies. I am a seasoned trauma therapist with well over 20 years in the field and I use the skills I am outlining here in my own daily work with myself to reduce the impact of a bombardment of current events and new cycle headlines.
The Poison of Contempt—and the Antidote to a Relationship Crisis
Contempt arises when couples are facing too many stressors with too few resources. It is a response that is often borne out of chronic overwhelm and frustration. Unfortunately, many couples who love each other immensely find themselves feeling contemptuous toward their beloved or, perhaps worse, finding themselves on the receiving end of contemptuous communication.
