The Armor of Defensiveness — and the Path to Safe (Enough) Connection
Couples Therapy, Emotional regulation, Four Horsemen, Communication, Gottman Method, Recovery, Relational dynamics, Relationship Repair, Intensives & Retreats Maureen Gomeringer, MSW, LCSW, SEP Couples Therapy, Emotional regulation, Four Horsemen, Communication, Gottman Method, Recovery, Relational dynamics, Relationship Repair, Intensives & Retreats Maureen Gomeringer, MSW, LCSW, SEP

The Armor of Defensiveness — and the Path to Safe (Enough) Connection

Defensiveness is sustained by patterns of misunderstanding, chronic criticism, unmet emotional needs, and the quiet erosion of trust. Many couples fall into defensive cycles not because they lack love, but because they lack the safety to be honest without being hurt. Yet even when defensiveness has become an ingrained reflexive reaction, there is a way back to open communication. With awareness and gentleness, partners can begin to replace defensive armor with curiosity, blame with ownership, and fear with vulnerability. 

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The Poison of Contempt—and the Antidote to a Relationship Crisis 
Couples Therapy, Gottman Method, Communication, Four Horsemen Maureen Gomeringer, MSW, LCSW, SEP Couples Therapy, Gottman Method, Communication, Four Horsemen Maureen Gomeringer, MSW, LCSW, SEP

The Poison of Contempt—and the Antidote to a Relationship Crisis 

Contempt arises when couples are facing too many stressors with too few resources. It is a response that is often borne out of chronic overwhelm and frustration. Unfortunately, many couples who love each other immensely find themselves feeling contemptuous toward their beloved or, perhaps worse, finding themselves on the receiving end of contemptuous communication.

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